The Savory Martini Has Officially Gone Too Far

The savory martini era has very much arrived. We love a dirty martini. Extra dirty, even. Filthy, maybe! But, with the ever-evolving trend comes some interesting takes, and lately, we’ve been considering how far is too far when it comes to a savory cocktail.

We’re calling it: Many of these libations cross a line. Salty, briny and umami-forward flavors have their time and place. But at what point are they nicer over a plate of butter lettuce than in a glass?

To each their own, certainly, but here are a few examples that warrant a spirited debate.

Image Courtesy of Alessandra Pizzorni

How We Got Here

Savory bev TikTok influencers (yes, that is a thing) are our guide to this world.

Alessandra Pizzorni frequently shakes up outlandish-looking martini recipes: Taco Bell martinis, the Seafood Boiltini and this writer’s personal favorite, because I am a Floridian, the Pub Sub martini.

The point is if you can think it, Pizzorni might make it. And while some of these might scream sideshow, it turns out they’re often quite palatable.

“All of my content has real drinkable value; it’s just the garnish can trick viewers’ minds into thinking it is not and that’s truly on purpose,” Pizzorni says. “My mind takes everything to 110%. Once I began making these martinis, it sparked something in me to think outside the box and create some things that have never been done before.”

Over on the more realistic side of BevTok, you might be familiar with Holly B’s “filthiest bev known to mankind,” creations that are pretty darn savory but still inside the realm of if-someone-saw-you-drinking-it-they-wouldn’t-stare (maybe except for a lobster-forward rendition, featured below).

“I’m all for bold flavors, but I do draw the line somewhere with my martini,” she says. “All things salt, brine and spice, yes. But we’re still here for the elegance of a cocktail. A savory martini can toe the line between delicious and shock value, but it’s all about balance. When it starts tasting like chunky salad dressing, that’s when we’ve crossed into shock territory. Keep it flavorful, vinegar and brine pair beautifully with vodka and gin.”

Ramen Martini — Image Courtesy of Alessandra Pizzorni

To Drink or Not to Drink

Look, whether or not these drinks are abominations is a matter of personal preference. But we at Wine Enthusiast have seen all manner of cocktails come and go—including plenty with polarizing ingredients, flavor combinations you wouldn’t think would work (but do) and off-the-wall techniques. We have a pretty good idea of what’s a legitimately good idea and what’s just click-bait.

Here’s our assessment of whether or not these ultra-savory martini variations are worth your time.

Yes, We Would Try These:

The Lobster Martini. OK, so drinking straight butter and garlic doesn’t sound especially appetizing. But in this libation, the ingredients are flavor notes in Black Harbour Distillers’ Lobster Vodka. In other words, you won’t find bits of garlic or chunks of butter floating around in this drink.

It does come topped with a lobster tail, which in our opinion is reason enough to dig in. While the addition of lobster broth may strike some as strange, Clamato—a classic cocktail ingredient made with tomato juice and clam broth—is also in the mix. And is lobster broth materially different from clam broth in a cocktail context? Dear reader, it is not.

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The Olive Garden Martini. Tastes like you’re part of the family, we imagine. This take on the dirty martini really isn’t too far off from an extra-dry version of the classic, so we’d be hard-pressed not to give it a swig. Additions like Parmesan and Italian seasonings may not be traditional, but if the success of the viral Parmesan espresso martini tells us anything, it’s that cheese-spiked cocktails kind of work.

@logagm

Caesar salad martini

♬ original sound – Logan

The Caesar Salad Martini. With a martini inspired by a Caesar salad, let’s just say that comparisons to salad dressing are… not entirely incorrect. But what about that is bad, we ask? Lemon, olive oil, Parmesan—these are ingredients that a critical mass of cocktail aficionados agree can work harmoniously in cocktails. Granted, the addition of anchovies is a choice, but one we stand by. One for us, please.

We Might Enjoy These if We Squinted

The Lox Martini. Hear us out—there is no actual lox in this martini. It’s just the garnish. We repeat, just the garnish! With that out of the way: The base of this cocktail is spiritual cousin to an extra-dry martini, with caper brine, the brine from a jar of pickled red onions and vodka.

That said, it does call for rimming the glass with cream cheese and the Old Bay-adjacent seasoning Seafood Magic. So. Yeah. We’re not sold on that.

Mussel Broth Martini: Briny, salty—we see the vision. If you’re one of those people who loves a Clamato-based cocktail, then why wouldn’t you love this? This woman is an innovator!

There’s Something Here, But We’ll Pass:

The Chick-fil-A Tini. We’re willing to hear this one out, up to a point. Chicken broth? Unconventional, but lovely. Pickle juice? Of course. But the fried chicken garnish isn’t exactly delicately perched on the glass’s rim. It is fully submerged in the drink, soaking everything up. Something about wet chicken just doesn’t sit right with us, you know?

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A CRIME:

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Hot Diggity Daiquiri. Credit where credit is due—this appears to be a considerately-built, elevated concoction. It’s made with celery root liqueur (earthy and fancy!), mustard simple syrup (getting weirder, but we’re still with you), rum (obviously we’re good with that), lime juice (ditto) and tomato oil (excellent). But the whole thing is giving… hot dog water. There’s something unsettling about the muddy color, and the meaty hot dog garnish. We can’t stop picturing a bunch of foot-longs floating around in a chafing dish. Just, no.

@spiritedla

Gintrusive thoughts strike again. #recipes #fyp #marriage #havanese #fatwash

♬ Famous Mozart’s Turkish March(872150) – East Valley Music

Chicken Tikka Tini: Admittedly, the opening shot of this TikTok amounts to a visual jump-scare, with a gloppy garnish of chicken tikka masala. In reality, the stuff isn’t poured directly into the drink, but thoughtfully (if not insanely) infused into the drink’s base spirits of gin and vermouth. The real garnish, it’s revealed, is a restrained strip of yogurt-anointed naan.

Still, even the drink’s inventor, the talented DrinkTok influencer Hannah Chamberlain, doesn’t seem overly thrilled with the result, giving it a paltry score of just 6.5 out of 10. We agree wholeheartedly with one commenter’s take: “I don’t think I’ll ever be adult enough for such a dirty martini.”